And That's Life...: Biggest Loser: End of Week 8

Technically this should read Week 12 but if I wanted to be even more accurate then the title of this post would be "Getting Back on the Bike." I think it was my mother who used to tell me that when you fall off the bike you have to climb back on. Well, I fell off the bike big time. In fact, I fell off the bike, tumbled down a hill through brambles and landed in a ditch full of water where I then continued to lay face down in the water as I wallowed in self-pity. What does all of this mean? Eh, probably more to me than to you. It's not that I fell off the wagon with my diet as much as I fell off the face of the earth for a little while there.

I had some family problems and then a few more were added and then a few more until I felt like a million bricks were piled on already heavy shoulders and I broke. I think the final straw was being told by one of my favorite cousins that she no longer wanted to talk to me because she thought she was a toxic influence on my life. To say I broke down would be putting it mildly. I cried for hours and I rolled up into a ball and tried to disappear...I don't have the power to disappear so this couldn't last long. Thanks to a wonderful boyfriend, a great best friend and a comforting mom and a few others, I came out of my ball a little bit. After battling depression for 2 weeks, I am finally starting to feel normal again. I managed to make it through life relatively fine but anyone who knew me couldn't be fooled. They've managed to pull me out of my rut and I am very thankful for them.

But wait, that accounts for 2 missing weeks, not 4. Well, before my little breakdown I was battling mother nature as it happened on two weigh-in days so I refused to weigh-in. That should account for the rest of my time where I went missing. I've decided to forget these past 4 weeks and focus on the future. I was doing fine on my diet until depression hit. Then the bad eating started. There were days where I barely ate and then there were days where I looked at my boyfriend and said , "I want a burger and fries" with a look on my face that said if he commented on my choice in food then he was risking a breakdown. So I had my burger, I had my fries, I had some chocolate and then I had some more. I had forgotten how closely tied my emotions are to my eating habits. As an emotional eater for years, this shouldn't have surprised me but it did. I thought I had gained control but I guess when you break down you lose control over many things, eating included. I even forgot how depression affected my writing. This is the first time I've been able to write in a month and it feels great! I'm glad to be back to my old self.
So there is my sad little shpeel for the day. However, I AM BACK! Watch out world, here I come! I'm still in the competition with my mother and sister and I'm determined to make next week have even better numbers. Yes, I have numbers. It may be a month late but I have numbers. I stepped on the scale this morning, scared but knowing I needed to conquer my fears.

Here's what I found:
Weight Lost Since Last Weigh-In: 2.2 pounds
Total Weight Lost: 17.6 pounds
Total Weight Percentage Lost: 8.6%

I was happy to find I had lost weight. I'll be honest, I was terrified and expected a large gain in weight. However, 2.2 pounds in a month is not enough for me so next week will be better! I'm determined. I have my life and my emotions under control and now it's time to get my weight under control as well. Thank you to everyone who helped me find my way back.

To everyone else dieting right now, keep up the good work! I plan on it being a great week!