Anyone who knows me knows that I have always been opinionated and ready to share what's on my mind. However, before my car accident, I had a bit of a filter so that I would keep inappropriate things to myself, or at least under my breath. Since the accident this tiny filter seems to have become non-existent. I promise I am trying to get it back, if only so I don't get my butt kicked for calling people stupid. In my defense, I only say what I believe to be true but my mother also taught me to be respectful and say it in my head so I'll work on that. I also need to work on getting my muscles back so that I can defend myself when I make a slip up...we will put these on my list of goals.
True, before the accident I openly told people they were ridiculous but back then I seemed to be better at pretending I was joking. I've never felt the need to censor myself too much but as of recently I think it's become a slight necessity. Calling teenagers idiots as I pass them in stores seems harsh, even if they are in fact idiots. I thought teenagers were idiots when I was one so I guess not much as changed there either but when a size 0 teen walks by me, talking about how embarrassed she is that she has to go to the check out stand with her load of bad-for-you-goodies, because self-check out is closed, I am going to comment. Yes, I should keep it to myself until said teenager walks away but it popped out. "Heaven forbid you gain an inch on your size 0 ass!" Yeah, I said it. Luckily, she didn't hear me. I wouldn't want to be the reason the poor girl enters therapy, that's her parents' job. I know it was mean but come on, every single person in the world knows that teenage girls get together, have sleepovers and eat like maniacs! In fact, we eat worse than boys usually! Oh, shocker! If it had been a heavy set girl embarrassed and saying it like a normal person rather than "oh my gosh, I'm so totally embarrassed...why did they close self check? I totally feel fat," I would understand. Sweetie, we ALL know you just want your other size 0 friend to say, "you totally aren't fat! You are gorgeous!" Get over yourself so me and my filter can take a break. Yeah, I know, filter should kick in....my bad.
I'm really sitting on the fence on this one. I'm moving to New York where I am told I can be as blunt as I want but I have also been told they will be willing kick my butt....hmmmm, I like my butt so I may want to keep my mouth shut or at least slightly shut. Also, I'm not into embarrassing my boyfriend, he's too cute for that :) Perhaps I should work my muscles back into place before I open my mouth...or exercise my mouth into the position of CLOSED. Nah ;) I'm not sorry for saying the things I say, HOWEVER I am sorry that I at least don't wait until that person is out of earshot. My mommy always said, "if I can't say something nice, don't say anything at all," but my daddy always said, "if you can't say something nice, make sure they don't hear you." I only say what I believe to be true but from now on I need to at least make sure that I keep it to myself until they are gone, at least where strangers are concerned. I don't need unnecessary conflict when it comes to strangers. However, family has always been fair game, so why stop now? ;)
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