Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Poetry Corner/Fiction Start-up- Mirror

I have been told by many people (my mother, boyfriend, bestie, etc.) that I need to start posting my short stories and poetry. I have decided to be brave and start doing what I am told. For those of you who don't know, a little over a year ago I was in a bad car accident that left me injured, jobless and pretty much hopeless. Since then, I have gotten much better and am slowly recovering physically. During this time I lost most of my ability to write and read but, one day in July, I did manage to get out my feelings about how lost I felt. This is the  poem I wrote. (Note: Not all of my poems will rhyme, some will be free form and not all will be this long, though some will be longer.)

                                                                          Mirror


I look in the mirror
And all I see
Is an empty person
Who isn’t me.

A shell of a girl
Is all that remains.
Dark clouds cover all.
She may never be the same.

Her humor is tamed,
Her smile faded,
Her whole life changed,
Her attitude jaded.

She puts on a smile,
Hides behind a joke,
But inside she withers

And no one sees the smoke.

Those she does tell
Say she will be alright,
That things will get better,
Don’t give up the fight.

But she feels no hope,
Silence eats her soul.
She feels lost.
She feels out of control.

Everything feels slow,
Both thoughts and movement.
She is not who she once was
And she sees no improvement.

People point out
The baby steps made
But she doesn’t feel it.
There is no sun, only shade.

She’d rather stay inside
And hide from humanity,
Even if it means
She feels on the brink of insanity.

Alone and incomplete,
She never feels whole.
A little light flickers,
once a bright soul.

Some days people see it,
A glimmer of the old girl,
Like sand no longer covers
The shining white pearl.

But it never lasts
And she feels even more lost
And she dreads to go out,
No matter the cost.

Her soul burrows deeper
Hiding in a haze,
Her mind twists and turns
Like a never ending maze.

Down she spirals,
Down and away,
Wondering when it will stop,
Will the dark clouds be here every day?
Days turn into weeks,
Will months become years?
This she wonders,
This she fears.

Will she always be lost?
Will she ever break through?
Can she ever be the same?
What does she have to do?

All these thoughts smother her.
She just wants to feel free.
Can she ever be fixed?
When will it be?

She looks in the mirror
And only sees a shell,
Once filled with hope,
Now filled with hell.

Will I ever feel full?
Will life ever become clearer?
This is what I ask
When I look in the mirror.

Don't worry, I feel much happier now but this poem says a lot about what I went through. I hope you enjoyed.

3 comments:

  1. Even though you feel much better about everything now, its still an amazing poem!

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  2. Amazing Poem! It made me want to cry! I hope to hear more of your poems, your an amazing person, writer and the best cousin I could ever ask for!

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  3. I really do love this poem. It just shows real emotion and I can feel the words striking at my heart (in a good way lol). I love your writing babe. Keep it up. I love you!

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